So I stopped at a gas station tonight around midnight to fill up and decided--for some reason--to take off my glasses and put them safely onto my car where I would have hopefully remembered to pick them up when I was finished. ...That didn't happen. I got distracted as I was checking my voicemail, then coolly got into my car after returning the pump to its caddy.
Basically, I drove off with my glasses on top of my car.
Of course I realized my dilemma after a bit of driving, as I couldn't see very well. So I quickly turned around nearly immediately and went right back to the gas station to look for my glasses. I gave up after about five minutes of finely refined combing techniques I learned in the boy scouts, took account of my apparent losses, and got back into my car.
In a last effort, I drove slowly onto the road, searching everywhere for the tiniest hint of a reflection from what I was certain would be the shards of broken glass and metal that once made up my glasses.
Wouldn't you believe it, though? There, in front of my car, in the middle of the road!, were my glasses, and after I got out of my car to retrieve them I happily noticed that they were in perfect condition. I wear them now as proof of such things!
After an elated "Thank you Jesus!" I returned on my way home--with a full tank of gas and my elusive glasses at rest on my head.
The end. | 
Starting in January, I'll be working as a graduate assistant in the Honors College at the University of Akron where I will also be attending classes for a degree in Higher Education Administration! Yay! Thanks for all your support and prayers!